• Welcome!

    Thank you for taking the time to work directly on the issue of criminal justice by helping an incarcerated person to learn, feel supported, and no longer alone in the shadowy prison world.

    This letter should provide the information you need as you begin this new mentorship with your incarcerated writing partner.

    Please note: We use person-centered language in this program. We no longer use the terms “felon, prisoner, inmate, convict, parolee” etc. Instead please use terms such as “people who are incarcerated, incarcerated people, formerly-incarcerated, systems-impacted” etc. Humanizing people starts with our language and our program is committed to that work.

    The core purpose of this mentorship program is to allow our incarcerated partners to tell their stories. Through this writing process our inside partners can begin to better understand the path that led them to their incarceration, as well as imagine the next chapter of their story — a more positive future.

    At the same time, by allowing us to share their stories, we hope the public will gain a better understanding on how the U.S. prison preys on certain groups and classes in this country.

    As our friend Skye Williamson, who was incarcerated for 26 years, wrote,

    The most important part of rehabilitation is helping us identify the factors in our lives that formed the seeds of our criminality – so we understand the mistakes we made and don't repeat them.

    This work involves thinking deeply about what happened in your life, your childhood, growing up and the choices you made. To honestly do that, you need the guidance and support of mentors because many in here [prison] want us to stick with our old ways.

    They know that without rehabilitation, we will make the same mistakes again and return to prison for even longer sentences. According to the National Institute of Justice, within five years of release, about 3/4 of us released in NYS were rearrested.


    This program requires a minimum one year commitment.

    The first thing you need to do is set up a PO Box. Transforming Lives will reimburse you (there is a form to fill out on the Mentor Portal of our website). You can get notifications from the post office about when you have mail by going to the USPS website and setting it up.

    When you get a letter or journal your job is to respond to the journal in a general and supportive way – commenting on what they have written about; struggles that you may have had that are similar to theirs and how you got over them; what is currently happening in the BLM movement, etc. You should also write a bit about yourself because they will naturally want to know who they are writing too.

    Hold onto the journal and do not return it to the prison. Part of the work we are doing is collecting data on what is happening in prisons and it wouldn’t be good for the guards to read the journal – given the chance. Your partner may prefer to send you journal pages individually instead of compiling all of them, that works too.

    Your partner may have trouble journaling. Let’s be honest – it is hard. We will send journaling instructions so you can see prompts and suggestions if you find that this seems to be turning into a pen-pal relationship. That is not a bad thing – it is just not the focus of our program. Others do their journaling through stories and poems and that is absolutely fine – it is simply important for them to get their feelings out and feel connected to someone who is listening. People who are incarcerated have often written about how, in the darkest part of the night, they hear others softly crying. This is the only time they feel safe letting their emotions out.

    On the other hand, some love journaling. If your partner needs notebooks and pens, let us know and we will send them along.

    If your writing partner approaches their parole board interview date, or you decide that your time in the program is over, we will provide and ask the following of you:

    First, we provide a Certificate of Participation that you will send either to your writing partner directly, or to their counselor. It is important that this be included in their parole packet (or clemency package, if this applies).

    Second, we ask that you write a letter of support that will also be sent to your partner or their counselor. A template will be provided to you. These letters of support are vital to their release.

    Finally, we ask that you visit your partner at least once a year. If you’d like one of our members to come with you, we would be happy to do that. We will pay for transport.

    What Not to Do: Do not give your partner your personal phone number or your address. Prison can be a lonely place but giving incarcerated individuals the opportunity to call tends to change the writing program. If your partner starts sending you materials that are not pertinent to our program – legal documents, legal complaints - then just kindly let them know you understand their frustrations but we are a journaling program and can’t help in other ways. Please don’t send your photo if it has a flirtatious connotation.

    If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to email transforminglivesnycontact@gmail.com.

    Obligation to Your Writing Partner:

    One thing people who are incarcerated are used to is people abusing their trust, and abandoning them. Promises are taken extremely seriously. And we need those involved in our program to build a relationship of trust.

    Overall it is best to set expectations for your participation upfront.

    ”I will send two letters a month”

    ”I am not comfortable with ___”

    ”I can only promise to participate for [1 year, 2 years] though this may change over time and I will let you know if it does.”

    Etc.

    If specific circumstances prevent you from your regular communication in any way, explain that to your writing partner as soon as possible.

    If you find yourself no longer able to, or interested in, communicating with your assigned mentee we ask that you let them know, and that they will be paired with a different mentor.

    Bimonthly Meetings:

    You must attend at least one zoom meeting per month. There are two meetings available:

    Tuesdays at 5pm or Wednesdays at 5:30pm. Please check the calendar on our mentor portal. An email will also be sent out day-of with the link, which is also available on the Mentor Portal. Once a month we will have a speaker join us and that schedule will be sent early in the year so you can plan accordingly.

    PO Boxes:

    PO Boxes are required for the program. You can sign up for informed delivery when registering.

    We will reimburse you for your PO Box, envelopes, and stamps. Simply fill out the reimbursement form on the website.

    What Should My Intro Letter Look Like?

    Here is a sample introduction letter:

    [Date]

    Hello [Name]

    My name is [Name] and I am so excited to begin working together on our journey with Transforming Lives.

    [A few small personal details – where you're from, general interests, fun facts etc.]

    Where are you from? What are your interests?

    It can be difficult getting to know someone through the written word, so perhaps we can both write how and why we chose to participate in Transforming Lives and share those thoughts with each other?

    Transforming Lives encourages you to keep a (mostly) daily journal. Things you’re thinking about, musings on family, what you’re feeling, hearing, seeing at that time. We’re here to explore who you are, what led you to the person you are now, and look forward to the future. Writing can be its own place of solace.

    If you're finding writing difficult, let me know and I can send you a writing prompt, if you'd like. While working on your journal, you and I will write letters to each other about life and writing. You can send individual journal entries as letters as well, we'll find what works best for each other over time.

    I will keep all of your writings safe [in my desk, in a folder, etc]. You can send them to me at:

    [PO Box]

    If you have any questions, please let me know.

    Looking forward to working with, and getting to know you!

    [Full Name]

    Make sure to personalize your letter! It should be written in your own voice – that’s how they’ll get to know you.

    You must include your first and last name and PO Box address on the top left hand corner of the envelope. Your letter will not be delivered without your full name and address.

    How Often Will I Communicate with My Mentee?

    Letters take a while to go back and forth. Often there will be 2 weeks between, but this varies. Don’t be surprised if there is a much longer wait time. Or shorter. It truly depends on which facility your partner is at, and how often you both write.

    JPay messages may come out of order, and each prison offers different access to kiosks.

    Acknowledge that this will ebb and flow over time, and as you get more acquainted with your writing partner.

    Some people communicate weekly, some every other, some every three weeks. Every other week tends to be the average for snail mail.

    Should I Use JPay?

    JPay is the email service for those who are incarcerated.

    While TL encourages you to engage with your partner via snail mail, there may be times when the speed of JPay is preferable.

    You can go to www.jpay.com to set up an account.

    If you create a JPay account, you will need to purchase “stamps” (we will reimburse you).

    Each email requires one stamp to send. At the bottom of the “Compose” page will be the option to include a reply stamp. Please check that box, as it will allow your mentee to respond without using their own money.

    Visiting Prisons:

    Please check the DOCCs website for information about the specific facility you will be going to. Hours and days are different for each. Don’t be afraid to call the facility with any questions you might have.

    We recommend getting to the prison at the earliest visiting hour on the day you go. It can take quite a lot of time from the point you arrive to when your mentee sits down in front of you, often upwards of an hour or so.

    Wear simple, modest clothing. Avoid printed images on shirts, low cut tops, v-necks, short skirts or shorts, exposed shoulders, sweatshirts with hoods, or clothing that is overly tight or overly bulky, etc. Remove all jewelry. Basically, be as boring as possible. Bring a change of clothing just in case.

    There is a list on the DOCCs website, if you want to check.

    There are lockers at the facilities where you can put coats, car keys, bags, etc. Some facilities require a quarter for their lockers that will be returned when you leave, or you may need to bring a combination lock (luggage size).

    It is recommended that you leave as much as possible, especially electronics, in the trunk of your car or at home.

    You can bring cash: $1 bills and quarters are recommended, and at some facilities you may bring a debit card for the vending machines.

    You cannot bring anything inside to give to your partner.

    Bring your government issued photo ID and write down your partner’s DIN# on a small slip of paper in case you forget.

    Visiting prison can be a difficult experience for many, especially the first few times. COs can be quite gruff, or make you feel as though you are a suspicious person, but try not to take it personally – and don’t talk back to them. It is in the best interest for you and your partner to have your visit be complication free, as your behavior may come to reflect on your mentee.

    You may have a different experience each time you visit. Sometimes a CO will let you get away with something another would not. Try to go with the flow as best as you can.

    Please note that you will likely need some downtime after your visit. Many people come away quite tired, as it is an emotionally complex experience. If you want to decompress by talking to someone else in our program, let us know.

    And enjoy your time with your writing partner! Laugh, play games, draw… whatever works for the two of you. Visits are precious to people inside, so make the most of it. It will be precious to you as well.

    If you have any other questions, please reach out. Many have visited the same facility you’ll be going to and will be able to provide insight.

    I’m Having an Issue with My Partner:

    If you are having any difficulties please reach out to our team, or bring your concern to our bimonthly mentor meetings.

    If they aren’t responding for a period of time that makes you concerned, write to your partner and ask how they are doing. If you don’t receive a response within 2-3 weeks from then, check in with us.

    We do not provide legal services, we are not here to help someone prove they are innocent, but we can pass on information about Prison Legal Services (PLS) or Legal Aid if that is what the person seems to be most interested in. But do ask if they would like to still participate in the program as it is, a writing mentorship. They can then choose to participate or not.

    If they have written an inappropriate letter, please bring that concern to us immediately (by personal correspondence or at the mentor meetings). Please understand that we work with the most highly concentrated traumatized population, and they are all experiencing active trauma. We ask that you be gracious and considerate.

    You may examine and then gently explain your boundaries if something makes you uncomfortable. If those are not respected and/or you wish to be paired with a different person, let us know. And then write a letter to that incarcerated person explaining that someone else will be contacting them in the future. We’ll take it from there.

    How Do I Respond to Financial Requests?

    We discourage you from sending your partner money. It can set up an expectation for the future that can be unhealthy for a mentor relationship.

    You are doing more than enough through writing and encouragement.

    Do not send anything other than writing instruments up front.

    If your writing partner asks you for money or items, please consider your comfort levels, and the amount of time you have worked with your partner.

    You are not required to say yes to anything outside of the program boundaries.

    You can politely explain that our program does not offer financial support. We are working on a list of resources for those who are in need of support items etc.

    Do understand that while our incarcerated comrades are good people, prison is a difficult environment and financial support is something people may seek out as they can. That is not the purpose of Transforming Lives.

    There are times when some mentors have chosen to gift to their partners (birthdays, for example). Again, this is all at your own discretion.

    If they need writing instruments, we will happily provide those, just ask if they have a preference on loose leaf paper, journal type etc.

    Sending a completed journal can cost approximately $10 for your writing partner. If they ask for help with that, Transforming Lives will navigate that process for you.

    I Haven’t Heard from My New Mentee Yet:

    If you are paired with a new mentee and have not gotten a response from your first letter after a few weeks, try writing again to check in. Ask if they are still interested in the program etc.

    If you do not hear back, you may contact them via JPay if you are comfortable and already have an account

    If you don’t hear back after 2-3 attempts at communication, contact us and we will pair you with a new mentee.

    Sending Books:

    If you would like to send your writing partner a book, you may do so at your discretion.

    A lot of people find it nice to read a book together, or send one that they feel might inspire their writing partner. Do not offer this in your introduction letter.

    Prisons only accept packages that are delivered by USPS.

    We recommend you use Bookshop.org. Amazon sometimes outsources their shipping and supports the Prison Industrial Complex, so please try to avoid using it if you can.

    Please note that incarcerated individuals may only receive 2 packages from home a year. Unless otherwise instructed by your mentee, you must send it to them directly through an online vendor.

    My Mentee Has a Friend Interested in TL:

    If your writing partner knows someone interested in Transforming Lives, please have them send the DIN# and name of that person and we will reach out when we have a mentor available for them.

    Recommendations for Further Reading:

    The New Jim Crow - Michelle Alexander

    Until We Reckon; Violence, Mass Incarceration, and A Road to Repair - Danielle Sered

    Freedom Dreams; The Black Radical Imagination - Robin D.G. Kelley

    Getting Tough; Welfare and Imprisonment in 1970s America - Julilly Kohler-Hausman

    Parable of the Sower - Octavia Butler

    We Do This ‘Til We Free Us; Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice - Mariame Kaba

    Root Shock; How Tearing Up City Neighborhoods Hurts - Mindy Thompson Fullilove

    The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story - Nicole Hannah-Jones

    The Fire Next Time - James Baldwin

    The Wretched of the Earth - Franz Fanon

    The Color of Law - Richard Rothstein

    Autobiography of Malcom X

    The Assassination of Fred Hampton - Jeffrey Haas

    How to be an Antiracist - Ibram X. Kendi

    Writing Prompts:

    For some incarcerated individuals writing their story will come easily, but for others this can come as a struggle. It isn’t always easy to dig deep. We’ve found the most successful start often comes from journaling. There are many ways they may start journaling, but a journal prompt usually works well.

    Below are sample writing prompts to help you and your mentee get to work

    -Where do you want your own story to go? What do you need to do to get it there?

    -What inspired you to do this program?

    -What are some of your skills? What are your weaknesses? How can they be turned into strengths?

    -How did you get here? What was the turning point?

    -If you could change something in your past, what would it be?

    -If you wanted to achieve one goal in the next six months, what would it be?

    -Write a list of things that have changed your life for the better and for the worse. Write what you have learned from them?

    -What is a short term goal you’re confident you can achieve?

    -Write a letter forgiving yourself for the things you still hold on to.

    -Write a letter to your fears. Face them, even if it is just in writing. Make sure to let them know that they no longer own you.

    -Write a letter to those you want to apologize to, let them know what you’ve realized.

    -What do you wish other people knew about you?

    -Do you have any tattoos, and if so, what do they mean?

    -Is there someone you look up to? What is it about them you admire?

    -If you could ask a question to anyone living or dead, who would it be and what would you ask?

    -Write a recipe for You. What “ingredients” make up the person you are now, how much, what process should they go through?

    -Write a numbered story or memory. This could be one specific memory, or your life from birth to now, however you wish to interpret that. It is also fun to try this backwards.

    -Describe a memory, don’t tell it. Start with a phrase such as “In this memory…” You could also do this with a dream, or a piece of writing you’re working on already. (“In this dream…” “In this story…” “In this chapter…”)

    -Draw a map of a place that is significant in your life, and then make it come alive in words. You can sprinkle in a dash of animism as well, maybe couches literally eat quarters, the air plays music, or the floors try to hold your feet in place.

  • One thing people who are incarcerated are used to is people abusing their trust, and abandoning them. Promises are taken extremely seriously. And we need those involved in our program to build a relationship of trust.

    Overall it is best to set expectations for your participation upfront.
    ”I will send two letters a month”
    ”I am not comfortable with ___”
    ”I can only promise to participate for [1 year, 2 years] though this may change over time and I will let you know if it does.”
    Etc.

    If specific circumstances prevent you from your regular communication in any way, explain that to your partner as soon as possible.

    If you find yourself no longer able to, or interested in, communicating with your assigned mentee we ask that you let them know, and that they will be paired with a different mentor.

  • Dear Transforming Lives Mentor:

    Thank you for taking the time to work directly on the issue of criminal justice by helping an incarcerated person to learn, feel supported, and no longer alone in the shadowy prison world.

    The first thing you need to do is set up a PO Box. If you can’t afford to do this then TL will reimburse you. You can get notifications from the post office about when you have mail by going to the USPS website and setting it up.

    When you get a letter or journal your job is to respond to the journal in a general and supportive way – commenting on what they have written about; struggles that you may have had that are similar to theirs and how you got over them; what is currently happening in the BLM movement, etc. You should also write a bit about yourself because they will naturally want to know who they are writing too.

    Hold onto the journal and do not return it to the prison. Part of the work we are doing is collecting data on what is happening in prisons and it wouldn’t be good for the guards to read the journal – given the chance.

    Your partner may have trouble journaling. Let’s be honest – it is hard. I will send journaling instructions so you can see prompts and suggestions if you find that this seems to be turning into a pen-pal relationship. That is not a bad thing – it is just not the focus of our program. Others do their journaling through stories and poems and that is fine – it is just important for them to get their feelings out and feel connected to someone who is listening. People who are incarcerated have often written about how, in the darkest part of the night, they hear others softly crying. This is the only time they feel safe letting their emotions out.

    On the other hand, some love journaling. If your partner needs notebooks and pens, let me know and I will send them along.

    Poems and essays: We have a blog called transforminglivesny.org and some inmates like to contribute to it. If you get creative work for the blog, please send it to me and I will put it up.

    Finally, we ask that, if you can, you visit your partner once or twice a year IF YOU ARE IN THE AREA. Please don’t consider this if it makes you feel uncomfortable.. If you’d like me to come with you, I would be happy to do that.

    What Not to Do: Do not give your partner your personal phone number or your email. Prison can be a lonely place but giving inmates the opportunity to call doesn’t work out because they will start calling and it tends to ruin the writing program. If your prisoner starts sending you materials that are not pertinent to our program – legal documents, legal complaints - then just kindly let them know you understand their frustrations but we are a journaling program and can’t help in other ways. Please don’t send your photo if it has a flirtatious connotation.

    If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to email me at cynthiaconradkling@gmail.com or text at 917-251-9647. Best, Cynthia

  • For the past four years, I've been mentoring Joseph, a life-without-parole inmate for Transforming Lives, exchanging several letters a month. I went into this experience thinking I could get to know someone with a different background, gain insights into our damaged prison system, and, of course, help my mentee improve his writing skills so he could be a better advocate for himself, and perhaps find another outlet for his creative juices (he happens to be a talented self taught musician and composer).

    What I never expected was how much mentoring Joseph would bring to my life, particularly during these locked down times, where Joseph has much advice to offer about patience, endurance, and dealing with a world that has gotten smaller.

    At the beginning of lockdown, when he was having trouble writing music because he was feeling down about the new Covid-related restrictions at the maximum security facility where he has spent the past 25 years, I sent him a copy of the writer's bible The Artist's Way to help him find inspiration; within days, he was writing songs again. In turn, he sent me poetry that included images of the crescent moon he could see setting behind the wall he glimpsed from the window in his cell. We also tell each other about our families, our growing up years, and, more recently, have begun talking about race and structural racism, reading How to be Anti Racist together and discussing our reactions.

    Through it all, Joseph continues to keep his heart and mind open and find ways to be happy, lessons that I have absorbed and very much appreciate, especially now. It always feels special when I see a familiar Green Haven envelope in the mailbox, with Joseph's handwriting on it. I take out the loose-leaf pages and enter another world, as I know he does when I send him photos, letters and articles I think he will like. Like all good relationships, we give and take from one another freely, and each feels that the other is getting more.

    Paula Darrow

    Transforminglivesny.org has been a way for me to reach across the divide of white privilege, beyond any fear and aversion of prisoners with an on-going friendship via hand-written correspondence. I met Hector Rodriguez, a young man imprisoned now for 25 years and saw his interest in continuing to learn, his love of making art and his interest in trees and plants. Sharing similar interests, but with a more fortunate background, I realized I had experiences and insights that I could share. His appreciation for our communication has been most rewarding. I send him postcards from years of visiting art museums along with my letters and I enjoy receiving his gifts of illustrated envelopes and artwork as well as his writings and thoughts on the challenges of surviving a life in prison. An important responsibility and surprising pleasure for me, it is my hope that in some small way I can help him thrive.

    --Marilyn Young, garden designer

    I made the decision to become a mentor after being introduced to the Prison Reform

    Program by Cynthia Kling who has been an integral part of this incredibly important endeavor. I am trained as a psychiatric social worker and I spent years working with the adult mentally ill population but the last 25 years I have been in real estate. The prospect of being able to offer guidance and support to prisoners spoke to me right off the bat.

    One of the men I mentored truly blew me away with how eloquently he wrote about his own pain and his will to want to grow and to love deeply. He sent me his “book” which he entrusted with me to read and critique. His writing was so insightful and deep I felt actually honored. He has since been released and we stay in touch. He continues to write and hopes to have his writings published which I have no doubt he will.

    To be touched by another person is a special gift and getting involved with the mentorship program has allowed that to happen.”

    --Lydia Rosengarten

  • Thank you for coming aboard on this meaningful endeavor. This letter should provide the information you need as you begin this new mentorship with your incarcerated writing partner.

    The core purpose of this mentorship program is to allow our incarcerated partners to tell their stories. Through this writing process our mentees can begin to better understand the path that led them to their incarceration, as well as imagine the next chapter of their story — a more positive future.

    At the same time, by allowing us to share their stories, we hope the public will gain a better understanding on how the U.S. prison preys on certain groups and classes in this country.

    As my friend Skye Williamson, who was incarcerated for 26 years, wrote,

    “The most important part of rehabilitation is helping us identify the factors in our lives that formed the seeds of our criminality – so we understand the mistakes we made and don't repeat them.

    “This work involves thinking deeply about what happened in your life, your childhood, growing up and the choices you made. To honestly do that, you need the guidance and support of mentors because many in here [prison] want us to stick with our old ways.

    “They know that without rehabilitation, we will make the same mistakes again and return to prison for even longer sentences. According to the National Institute of Justice, within five years of release, about 3/4 of us released in NYS were rearrested.”

    For some incarcerated individuals writing their story will come easily, but for others this can come as a struggle. It isn’t always easy to dig deep. We’ve found the most successful start often comes from journaling. There are many ways they may start journaling, but a journal prompt usually works well.

    4/22

  • We’ve found that for the mentor/mentee correspondence snail mail works best. The program will provide you with pens and notebooks to get your writing partner started, so make sure they receive the materials. This type of introspective writing can be absorbing for your incarcerated partner, and traditional mail allows them time to write without interruption. Unless you have something critical to communicate to your partner, we suggest snail mail instead of using Jpay (DOCCS email service).

    You will need to provide a P.O. Box address for this correspondence, and we discourage sending a photo of yourself, as it may be perceived in the wrong light and disrupt the professional mentor/mentee writing relationship.

    Please don’t hesitate to contact us if you’d like to be reimbursed for your PO Box, envelopes, stamps, or paper.

  • As your incarcerated partner works on their journal, we encourage sending letters to discuss what they’re writing, as well as offering your suggestions on what they’re writing and helping them with any difficulties they may face in communicating their stories. Above all you are there to encourage them and offer positive reinforcement to help them complete their writing projects.

    Once the journal is completed your writing partner will send it to your P.O. Box. Please hold onto it and keep it in a safe place until it is needed — for example, for the parole board.


    You are here in this program to be a cheerleader, and guide your mentee to getting to the root of their problems through expressing themselves in their writing. This may take any number of forms, including poetry or short stories.


    We are happy to provide your writing partner with writing supplies. You can purchase them and submit the receipt for reimbursement to transforminglivesnycontact@gmail.com, or request that we send the materials to your mentee ourselves.


    It is expensive for your inside partner to send their journal (approximately $10 to ship), so if your mentee needs help once they have filled their journal, please contact us, but do not mention it until their journal is complete.

  • The New Jim Crow - Michelle Alexander

    Until We Reckon; Violence, Mass Incarceration, and A Road to Repair - Danielle Sered

    Random Family - Adrian Nicole LeBlanc

    Freedom Dreams; The Black Radical Imagination - Robin D.G. Kelley

    Getting Tough; Welfare and Imprisonment in 1970s America - Julilly Kohler-Hausman

    Parable of the Sower - Octavia Butler

    We Do This ‘Til We Free Us; Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice - Mariame Kaba

    Root Shock; How Tearing Up City Neighborhoods Hurts - Mindy Thompson Fullilove

    The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story - Nicole Hannah-Jones

    The Fire Next Time - James Baldwin

    The Wretched of the Earth - Franz Fanon

    The Color of Law - Richard Rothstein

    Autobiography of Malcom X

    The Assassination of Fred Hampton - Jeffrey Haas

    How to be an Antiracist - Ibram X. Kendi

  • We have two other forms of publication for your mentees work. The first is Voices is our magazine with the second edition published in 2022. We hope your mentee will contribute to this publication. The upcoming (2023) third edition will be centered around the theme of learning — hard lessons, great lessons, whether in school, on the street, or while incarcerated.